Funny quotes text file jobs

...for my hair salon, "CXR Hair Studio". I'm looking for a simple and sleek text-based logo. You can have the words “cxr” and “hair studios” in different fonts to spice it up. The main requirements are: - Color Scheme: The logo should have a black background with white letters. The words “CXR” and “hair studios” can be in different fonts to spice it up as well. This minimalist approach will help maintain a clean, professional look that's essential for a hair salon. - Font Style: I'm hoping to have an elegant font style for the logo. This will give it a sophisticated and stylish visual appeal. - Graphic Elements: I'm not looking for any graphic elements to be incorporated with the text. The focus s...

I need a Python program to parse a JSON file and format it correctly to be JSON compliant. Key Requirements: - Input Data: The input data is in JSON format. - Output Data: The JSON output should be properly formatted and adhere to a specific schema or structure. Skills and Experience Required: - Proficiency in Python programming. - Strong understanding of JSON parsing and formatting. - Experience in adhering to specific JSON schemas or structures. Please let me know your experience in similar projects and any relevant information that would make you a strong candidate for this job. You will pass the name of the input file as an argument and the output file should be the same file name with the .output extension. The input file is attached. Pay att...

...can easily browse and purchase products. Key Features: - Integration of Credit Card payment gateway: The primary payment method on the platform will be Credit Card. It's crucial that our developer is familiar with integrating this into an e-commerce system. - International Shipping Support: The site should support worldwide shipping. It will be essential that the developer ensures that shipping quotes are accurate and that the system properly calculates shipping costs for each order. I'm looking for a developer with a solid track record in e-commerce web application development. Experience with system integrations, especially payment gateways, is a must. It would be a plus if the developer has previously worked on projects that involved international shipping. Plea...

I'm looking for a graphic designer to create a logo for my t-shirt line, "Suspect Statements". The theme of the line is true crime show quotes and clichés, so I need the logo to convey a sense of crime, wit, and style. Key Requirements: - Incorporating US yellow crime scene tape into the logo - Using a color palette of black, yellow, and white - Typography should be edgy and bold Ideal Skills: - Graphic design with experience in creating logos for clothing lines - Proficiency in creating designs that are both stylish and thematic - Understanding of how to incorporate specific symbols in a creative manner Please provide a portfolio of your previous logo designs, particularly those that are related to clothing brands or have a similar edgy style. Looking forwa...

...successfully identifying and vetting suppliers. - Expertise in navigating and platforms, including advanced search techniques and supplier verification methods. - Excellent communication skills and proficiency in English and Mandarin to effectively interact with suppliers and provide accurate information. - Attention to detail and accuracy in providing supplier information and pricing quotes. - Ability to deliver results within the specified timeframe and adhere to project requirements and guidelines. If you possess the necessary skills and experience to fulfill this project, please submit your proposal outlining your approach to supplier identification and verification, along with any relevant past experiences. We look forward to collaborating with a talented sourcing agent t...

I'm seeking an expe...Python for a Natural Language Processing project focusing on text classification of social media posts. Key Project Features: - The goal is to build a Python coding notebook that can efficiently classify different types of text within social media posts. This will require a deep understanding of NLP principles and techniques. - The project primarily demands the use of Python for its implementation. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Expertise in Python programming is a must. - A strong background in NLP, particularly in the area of text classification, will be highly beneficial. - Prior experience working with social media text data would be a plus. If you're confident in your Python and NLP skills and have experience in tex...

I need a skilled developer to create a WordPress plugin that enables the preview of .3mf, .stl, and .obj 3D files on my website. Requirements: - The plugin should support previewing of .3mf, .stl, and .obj 3D files. - The 3D file previews should be interactive and visually appealing. - The plugin should be compatible with WordPress. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in WordPress plugin development. - Experience with 3D file handling and rendering. - Strong understanding of front-end technologies for creating visually appealing 3D file previews.

I need an experienced 3D designer to modify an STL file quickly. The specific modifications are unspecified, but I need them done promptly. The final deliverable should be an STL file, though I'm open to other file formats. It is essential that the designer has the ability to make complex modifications and is experienced in the software necessary to perform the task. Please bid only if you're available immediately and can work on the project promptly.

I have less than 100 scanned pages of text data that need to be entered into a digital format. The scanned documents are clear and the text is legible. I am looking for a detail-oriented professional to help me with this task. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Proficiency in data entry - Attention to detail - Familiarity with working with scanned documents - Ability to accurately transcribe text - Time management skills to complete the task in a timely manner If you have experience in similar projects and feel confident in your abilities to complete this job efficiently, I would love to hear from you.

...developer to create a file-sharing platform with a focus on user ease and simplicity, much like wedibox. The platform should primarily cater to individuals and feature: - User registration and login: A seamless process that ensures security and privacy for each user. - File sharing and storage: A core feature enabling users to easily upload, share, and manage their files. The storage capacity should be sufficient for individual use. The user interface styling should be modern and minimalist, reflecting the platform's focus on simplicity and ease of use. The ideal freelancer for this project should have a strong background in web development, particularly in creating user-friendly platforms, and an understanding of modern and minimalist design principles. Experience ...

I have an protected password .mpz format that I need to have the program can unlocked and converted into a readable format, preferably Excel or CSV. - The file contains both textual and numerical data, so I need the converted file to maintain this integrity. - I intend to use the data primarily for reporting purposes, so it is essential that the conversion is accurate and all data is preserved. I'm seeking a skilled professional with experience in file format conversion and data handling. The ideal freelancer should be proficient in Excel and adept at handling mixed data formats. This project is crucial and I'm looking for someone who can deliver a high-quality and precise conversion.

I'm in need of a skilled SEO professional to help me improve my website's ranking on Google. I'm specifically looking for someone with expertise in backlinking. The main goal for this project is to increase my website's visibility and credibility. This will help to improve my site's ranking on Google and drive more organic traffic to my site. My target audience is not specified, but it is important to note that the backlinks must have a Domain Authority (DA) of 20 or higher. This will ensure that the links are of high quality and will positively impact my site's SEO. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Proven experience with SEO and backlinking - Familiarity with Google's search algorithms - Ability to identify and secure high-quality ...

I'm looking for an experienced SEO freelancer who can help in building quality backlinks. Key Requirements: - SEO Expertise: You should have a proven track record in SEO. - Backlink Building: You should be able to build backlinks using only the "Anchor Text". - Domain Authority: The websites the backlinks are sourced from should have a Domain Authority of 20 or higher. Please note that the target search engines and audience for this campaign are not specified. You can suggest specific websites/industries, but the decision-making will be open to discussion.

I'm in need of a professional who can perform text editing on a PDF. The changes I require are not too extensive but precise. Key Tasks: - Implement minor text corrections including typos and grammatical errors. - Make necessary content updates such as paragraphs and headers. It's crucial that the final output remains in a text-based format. The document is currently editable, so the process should be smooth. Ideal Skills: - Proven experience in PDF editing. - Strong command over text editing. - Attention to detail for accurate implementation of changes. If you think you're the right fit for this task, I'd love to hear from you.

I am in need of a unique logo that combines both text and imagery for "Kurtis Garage". It should be eye-catching and make a strong impact. - The Logo: Take a creative approach and feel free to incorporate relevant elements into the design. Unfortunately, I haven't specified the particular symbol to be used, so I am open to suggestions. It could be anything resonating with a garage theme. - Colors: I prefer red, black, and white. However, I am open to other innovative color concepts that would enhance the overall design and meets the aesthetics I envision for my brand. - Ideal Candidate: Someone with a strong background in graphic design and logo creation. Prior experience designing logos related to garages, cars or tools would be advantageous. An ability to catch ...

I'm in need of a generative artificial intelligence that can analyze given text inputs and provide suggestions based on the analysis. The main purpose of this AI would be for data analysis. Key Requirements: - The AI should be primarily text-based. - It should be able to process and analyze the supplied text. - The output should be suggestions derived from the analysis. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Previous experience in developing generative AI systems. - Proficiency in natural language processing and data analysis. - Strong understanding of machine learning algorithms.

...machine and can sign PDF, XML, JSON, and Text files in bulk and with the following additional features: - Bulk Signing: It should support signing multiple files at once, with no specific limit. - Predefined Output Path: Users should have the option to assign a default output path for the signed files. - PDF Signature Display: For PDF documents, the utility should display the signature as an optional feature. The goal is to have this utility developed within a month. Ideal skills for this project include: - Proficiency in programming languages suitable for file processing (e.g. Python, Java) - Experience in developing software utilities or tools - Familiarity with e-signing mechanisms and standards - Prior experience in working with PDF, XML, JSON, and Text fil...

We ...exact copies. Can be the same text, also with McDuck or Bunny. Hight resolution of arts 8000x6000px. We want also source files in PSD to change/remove a texts. We are looking for someone for a long-term cooperation. Send your portfolio to get an impression of your previous work. 1st artwork: Mr Bunny with Mrs. Bunny, graffiti background White Text: A journey to Love: 2nd artwork: McDuck with lots of USD White Text: Forbes 3rd artwork: McDuck with lots of money, cigar in hand Gold Text: NO LUCK ALL HUSTLE 4th artwork: McDuck with bottles of Dom Pérignon Gold Text: DRINK CHAMPAGNE - SAVE WATER 5th artwork: McDuck with money in background with gun in his hand, cigar in mouth Gold Text: NO MONEY - NO FUNNY 6th artwork: Bunny looks...

I'm looking for a data entry specialist to extract text data from scanned documents and input it into a database. Key Requirements: - Data Entry: Your primary task will be to accurately transfer text data from scanned documents into a digital database. - Attention to Detail: Precision and accuracy are essential to ensure the database is error-free. - Timeliness: The task should be done in a timely manner to keep the project on track. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in English: Since the data is in text format, a strong command of English is necessary. - Data Entry Experience: Previous experience in data entry is a plus. - Familiarity with Database Management: Basic knowledge of database operations is a bonus. Looking forward to your bids.

I'm in need of an experienced Reddit virtual assistant who can successfully engage user interaction in a fun and engaging way. Your tasks will include: - Regularly posting relevant, funny and general content with a knack for memes. - Actively driving discussions on said topics to boost community interaction. It would be ideal if your skills and experience have a touch of wittiness, understanding of meme culture, and overall, a strong grasp of sparking interesting conversations within the Reddit platform. Prior experience in user engagement and community management on Reddit is also highly valued. Knowledge on how Reddit operates and functions is critical, so previous experience in posting and interacting on the platform will put you at an advantage. The aim is to create a dyn...

I'm looking for a data entry specialist to extract text data from scanned documents and input it into a database. Key Requirements: - Data Entry: Your primary task will be to accurately transfer text data from scanned documents into a digital database. - Attention to Detail: Precision and accuracy are essential to ensure the database is error-free. - Timeliness: The task should be done in a timely manner to keep the project on track. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in English: Since the data is in text format, a strong command of English is necessary. - Data Entry Experience: Previous experience in data entry is a plus. - Familiarity with Database Management: Basic knowledge of database operations is a bonus. Looking forward to your bids.

I'm looking for a creative designer to craft a modern, text-based logo intended for online use (websites, social media). The Word is XConn which needs to be designed. Following example is for proof of concept. XConn represents cross-platform connectivity, so a little touch of that in the logo would be a bonus Key details: - Style: The design should reflect a modern aesthetic. I'm not after overly complex or vintage styles but rather something sleek, clean, and current. - Color: I don't have a specific color palette in mind. I'm open to suggestions, so feel free to utilize colors that align with modern design trends. The ideal candidate for this project will: - Have a strong portfolio that demonstrates expertise in modern logo design. - Possess a keen eye for t...

I have an Adobe Illustrator file that I need to be converted into a .png file for use in PowerPoint. When doing this, the .ai file shall also be updated by removing all unused elements and provided to me. The size of the resulting .png shall be small only including the elements I want without extra space surrounding it. Key points: - I need the .png file to be compatible and high quality within PowerPoint. - I'm flexible with dimensions but would appreciate advice on the best size for this purpose. Ideal experience and skills for this project: - Proficiency in Adobe Illustrator and PowerPoint. - Strong understanding of file conversion and optimization for PowerPoint. - Ability to communicate and provide guidance on appropriate dimensions.

I'm looking for an AI expert to help me improve an existing AI model. This project requires full-time engagement to achieve the best results possible. Specifically, I'm looking for someone with experience in Natural Language Processing (NLP). This project will involve analyzing large datasets of text and quotes, in order to develop a powerful natural language processing model. The model should have the ability to classify quotes by sentiment, recognize intent and extract entities from the text. There will also be opportunities to explore new techniques for natural language understanding and machine learning. The right candidate should have excellent problem-solving skills, knowledge of machine learning and natural language processing algorithms, as ...

I am looking for a talented graphic designer to help me create some cool and funny T-shirts for my brand targeting professionals in the IT industry. You don't need to know code, but understanding some tech humor will be helpful! Key Responsibilities: - Translate my ideas into visually appealing and humorous designs for T-shirts - Create innovative and quirky designs with an insider IT perspective - Collaborate with me to ensure that the designs appeal to our target audience and align with our brand image Experience & Skills: - Proven experience in graphic design and expertise on design software and technologies. (Only Basic understanding of IT) - Strong aesthetic skills with the ability to combine various colors, fonts, and layouts - Understanding of the IT industry, ...

I need a SolidWorks STEP file converted to an editable format for design modification in SolidWorks. Need the full project zip every component seperated.

I require a talented freelancer to construct a text-based logo, along with an engaging introduction focused on emphasizing my company's mission and values. Additionally, I'm looking for the concept and design of formal business attire. Requirements: - Aesthetic and definitive text-based logo design. - Draft an introduction with captivation, mirroring our mission and values. - Original and professional designs for formal business attire. Ideal Skills: - Extensive experience with logo design and typography. - Excellent written communication for the introduction. - Creativity and expertise in formal attire design. - Understanding of the apparel industry's current trends. - Proactive, innovative and deadline-oriented. And providing the type of logo we nee...

I'm looking for a skilled Excel professional to clean a text-based dataset for me. The dataset is not massive, but it's quite messy. The data cleaning task is relatively straightforward and basic. You'll have to perform operations such as removing duplicates and adjusting formats. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Excel: You should be comfortable working with large datasets in Excel, including applying formulas and functions. - Data Cleaning Expertise: Prior experience in cleaning text data is a major plus. - Attention to Detail: The devil is in the details; I need someone who won't overlook small nuances in the data set. Once the data is cleaned, I'll need you to carry out some basic analysis on it. This will involve running some sim...

I'm in need of a web-based job card system that will allow the creation and editing of digital job cards. There is also a requirement for quotes, parts / inventory, archived jobs, and customer management. Both employees and managers will need access to the system, with an admin login section for authorization of completed job cards. We would like the system to export completed jobs to CSV file for automated invoice generation in Quickbooks Online. We will also require the system to import the customer database from Quickbooks in CSV format. Key Functionalities: - Creation and Editing of Jobs - Ability to use system on-site / remotely through the use of iOS or Android web browsing. Some - Ability to select a simple job status from a drop-down combo box eg. In-progress...

Develop macro-enabled Excel file to handle CSV

I need assistance in copying text content from my smartphone and pasting it into the appropriate place. Key Requirements: - Copying text from my smartphone- The texts are not in a document but on my phone. A good understanding of how to copy and paste from a phone is essential. - Paste into the appropriate location- The text will need to be pasted into the correct place, whether it be a website, document, or elsewhere. Time Expectation: - I am looking for someone who can assist me part-time. This means the job doesn't need to be completed all at once. A longer-term arrangement is possible if the collaboration is successful. Ideal Skills: - Understanding of basic phone functions - Strong attention to detail - Ability to follow instructions accurately If you ...

...multiple html file(hundreds to thousands), each html file contain multiple tables(vary from 15-35, depend on each html file). Python to extract specific table and vertically stack them together to create an Excel file.(first column add html filename.) inside html file is encoded in chinese, so must use chinese to view it. table name/string partially e.g. "現金流量表" or "被投資公司名稱" or "資金貸與他人"or "轉投資大陸地區" or other name(later can be change). extract table based on table names/string. the table may not be there(depend on the html). If so just skip or single row blank. have to be easy to read and maintain in the future. .py file(source code) not .exe binary file (I think it's not very hard. I�...

I need to have the design of a face mask made. It will cover the whole face (refer full face ). The design should look like a funny, cartoonish, smiling red colored car. It should have at least eyes and smile. If I print it and put it on my face, the eyes should be in place of real eyes, the smile should be in place of real smile i.e. the proportions of the final image should match accordingly. The resolution should be at least 2160x3840. Also check other reference images. The mask should be a standard size that fits most people comfortably. Don't give me a random quote, give me a real quote.

I have a significant number of handwritten documents that need to be typed. The typed content will be used for data analysis. Key Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in accurate typing - Experience in handling handwritten materials - Strong understanding of data analysis Your role will essentially involve transcribing the content from these handwritten documents into a digital format. It is crucial that the data is typed accurately and with minimal errors. The typed data will be used for analysis, so the freelancer should ensure that the content is easily readable and properly formatted for data analysis purposes. This project is ideal for someone who has experience with data entry, accuracy in typing, and understanding of the importance of clean data for analysis.

I have a project that requires purely text data entry. I have a set of handwritten notes which need to be entered into a spreadsheet. Key Requirements: - The data is text-based, and it's crucial that the freelancer can transcribe this accurately and efficiently. - Proficiency in using spreadsheet software like Excel or Google Sheets is a must. Ideal Skills: - Fast and accurate typing skills - Proficient in using spreadsheet software - Experience with data entry, especially from handwritten sources

I'm looking for a skilled and reliable data entry specialist to assist with a record keeping project. The task involves transcribing handwritten notes into digital format. Key Responsibilities: - Transcribing handwritten text notes into digital format while maintaining accuracy and attention to detail. - Ensuring the data is organized and stored appropriately for efficient record keeping purposes. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in data entry with a preference for experience in transcribing handwritten text. - Attention to detail and accuracy in transcribing to ensure the data is correctly entered. - Familiarity with record keeping practices is a plus. The role needs someone who is detail-oriented, reliable, and able to work efficiently. The goal is to smoo...

I'm looking for someone to convert a PDF documen...document. The main purpose of this conversion is to extract text from the PDF content which has complex formatting, including elements such as tables and footnotes. Key Requirements: - Accurate Extraction: The primary goal here is to ensure that all text is accurately extracted from the PDF file and transferred to the Word document without any loss or distortion. - Formatting Preservation: While the layout may be complex, I'm looking for the freelancer to maintain the font styles and sizes as they appear in the original document. The ideal candidate for this job would have: - Proficiency in PDF and Word processing tools - Experience with maintaining formatting during content transfer - Attention to detail ...

I am seeking a data entry specialist to help enter less than 100 pages of text data into a PDF. Your role will involve: - Accurately inputting provided text data - Organizing data effectively within the PDF Ideal candidates for this job should have: - Excellent data entry skills, focused on accuracy - Proficiency in dealing with PDF file formatting - Able to handle text data with excellence Please ensure that all rules and formatting guidelines are adhered to. Attention to detail is critical, as ensuring data accuracy is a key requirement for this project.

I have a large amount of text data that needs to be entered into a digital format. I'll provide you with the data and you'll have no specific deadline for this project.

I need a professional to help me with my PES file resizing and correction for a cotton fabric project. Key Tasks: - Resize the design to fit within the 4x4 to 8x8 inches range - Digitize the design for optimal stitch density - Ensure the color scheme is correct and suitable for the final product (cotton fabric) You should have: - Proficiency in embroidery software, specifically with PES files - Experience in resizing and correcting embroidery designs - Understanding of different materials' requirements, especially cotton - Attention to detail - Portfolio of similar projects Please provide me with an overview of your experience and some examples of past work.

I have a large amount of text data that needs to be entered into a digital format. I'll provide you with the data and you'll have no specific deadline for this project.

I have an Illustrator file that needs some text changes. All the new text content is ready, so the task mainly involves swapping out the existing text with the updated content. Ideal skills and experience for this project: - Proficiency in Adobe Illustrator - Strong attention to detail - Ability to follow instructions accurately Attached is a sample. Required modifications. 1. Change bar code. 2. Tidy up the text. 3. Duplicate the file and update some text. 4. Resend me with the right dimensions.

... • Footer Design Update: Revise the footer design for improved aesthetics and functionality. • Technical Optimization: Implement cache management, Google Analytics, meta tags, and backlinks for enhanced website performance and visibility. • Homepage Enhancement: Update the design of the homepage to be more interactive, responsive, and fast-loading. • Content Optimization: Enhance text content with quotes, highlighted words, and captivating copywriting. • Calculator Update: Improve the functionality of the calorie calculator by removing the login requirement, allowing users to generate and download dynamic reports seamlessly. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in website design and development - Experience in PHP, LARAVEL, Wordpress - Experience i...

Hi Ishaq A., My Printer says that The logo file in one of the rewind bag artwork files for Mulberry Tree brand is too small. Can you please fix the logo and change to the two coloured versions used in the artwork

I'm looking for an experienced developer to help with real-time text data scraping via API and management using BeautifulSoup. This project is primarily focused on retrieving text data and storing it in a database. Key Responsibilities: - Implement an API scraper to continuously retrieve text data in real-time - Utilize BeautifulSoup for data extraction and management - Develop a robust database to store all the scraped text data The ideal candidate should have: - Proficiency in Python programming language - Strong experience with API scraping and BeautifulSoup - Previous work involving real-time data scraping - A good understanding of database management It is important that the data scraping runs seamlessly and accurately in real-time. Prior experien...

I have a 58-second audio file with speech that has been marred by background noise. I'm seeking a professional audio engineer who can clean up the file and remove the static, ensuring the final audio quality is as pristine as possible, with minimal to no background noise remaining. SECOND HALF OF AUDIO NEED TO CLARIFY VOICES- YOUNG BOY TALKING TO HIS FATHER WHO HAS PLANTED EVIDENCE FOR HIS OWN CRIME. NEED TO HEAR IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE This task requires someone well-versed in audio editing who can preserve the original content while significantly reducing the presence of background noise AND PERHAPS LOWER THE OVERLAPPED FAKE POLICE YELLING ON TOP.... Experience with radio or similar audio content is a plus. ANYONE WHO CAN DO IT FAST.

...Python file that was running fine last night for data analysis purposes. However, after trying to upload the '' file to GitHub, I encountered an error due to the file size being too large for GitHub. I need to get the Python file running again, but with the '' file stored on an external service to work around the file size limitations of GitHub. Key requirements include: - Identifying and resolving the issue causing the Python file not to run - Storing the '' file on an external service and adjusting the Python code to access it from there Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in Python - Experience with data analysis and handling large datasets - Familiarity with version control, specifically u...

I'm looking for a skilled photo editor who can remove the existing date from a picture and insert a new one, as well as incorporate a text or logo to the image. Key Requirements: - **Date Replacement**: You'll need to completely remove the old date from the picture and add a new one in its place. - **Text or Logo Placement**: The text or logo should be elegantly placed on the image, in a manner that doesn't overshadow the main subject. Ideal Freelancer: - Proficient in photo editing software like Adobe Photoshop or GIMP. - Experienced in working with image manipulation and text overlay. - Attention to detail to ensure a seamless blend of the new date and the existing image.

I'm in need of a reliable professional to conduct text data entry for magazine advertisements. The successful freelancer should have: - Strong attention to detail - Proficiency in English - Prior experience in data entry, particularly with swift and accurate text input While not required, experience with magazine ad placements could also be highly beneficial, as the task involves inserting advertisements directly into a magazine. However, please note the specific magazine has not been disclosed at this point. Applicants without such specific experience but with proven data entry skills are still encouraged to bid.

I'm looking for a skilled Photoshop expert who has a knack for creating hilarious and eye-catching face swaps. This project aims to craft laughs and shared amusement, so consider this when swapping the faces on the provided image. Requirements: - Replace the faces on the supplied photo with the specific ones I've chosen for a funny effect. Delicate discretion is required to ensure the overall balance of the image isn't disrupted. - Maintain the background scenery, body positions, color, and lighting effects of the original image. - Adjust as necessary for naturalistic integration of the new faces without compromising the original photo's features. Ideal Skills & Experience: - Advanced Photoshop skills - Understanding of lighting and angles for believable i...